Slang Editorial

Julep Kinda Day

2010-05-01T15:01:00.001-04:00

The Treebark List

2010-04-20T14:11:00.001-04:00

From a post that never happened, July 2009:

JeffreyBeaumont: god, "Off the Docks"
JeffreyBeaumont: i wish i could somehow have soemthing i could call "The
Treebark List"
JeffreyBeaumont: not pop nuggets but just those incredibly great meaty
nuggets of never-fading music
JeffreyBeaumont: so good and beefy
JeffreyBeaumont: but like, they're the hot dogs of music songs rather
than the candy bars
jaychampionvinyl: haaaaaaaaa
jaychampionvinyl: I have NO fucking idea what that means
jaychampionvinyl: reread that
JeffreyBeaumont: i stand by my statement
jaychampionvinyl: Treebark? hot dogs? nuggets?
jaychampionvinyl: candy bars?
jaychampionvinyl: however, "off the docks" rules
JeffreyBeaumont: "pop nuggets" are sweet and saccharine, tooth aches
even sometimes
jaychampionvinyl: on that we agree
JeffreyBeaumont: I'm talking about music nuggets that are good in a
similar short burst way but instead of JeffreyBeaumont: being like a
sweet burst snack are more like a savory meat burst snack
JeffreyBeaumont: like a hot dog
JeffreyBeaumont: you can still slurp a hot dog down in 6 seconds even
though it's theoretically meal-worthy
JeffreyBeaumont: like an ice cream cone
jaychampionvinyl: I'm down with all of that
jaychampionvinyl: where does tree bark enter into that metaphor?
JeffreyBeaumont: tree bark is like, putting notches in the tree
JeffreyBeaumont: cause these songs just enter your brain at random
points
JeffreyBeaumont: and you need to have somewhere to jot them down or else
you forget that they are special meat nuggets
JeffreyBeaumont: same can go for pop nugs but its less essential to
write down because everyone's always looking out for them
jaychampionvinyl: right
jaychampionvinyl: so you notch the meat nuggets into the tree bark
jaychampionvinyl: and "off the docks" is a savory meat nugget worth
carving into bark
JeffreyBeaumont: Like a tree in the forest that says "Ben Loves Weezy By
The Docks 7/2009 HEARTS"
JeffreyBeaumont: notches all over it with other songs like that
jaychampionvinyl: I dig that shit

JeffreyBeaumont: i suppose i could just start having hot dogs tattoo'd
all over my body
JeffreyBeaumont: and i'm the tree
JeffreyBeaumont: but that might be perceived as strange by some
jaychampionvinyl: HAAA
jaychampionvinyl: nah
jaychampionvinyl: I hear that shit, loud and clear
jaychampionvinyl: and it makes me want to smear margarine all over a
ship captain
JeffreyBeaumont: imagine if we were the programmers of childrens
television
jaychampionvinyl: Ben's Meaty Nugget TreeBark Hour
jaychampionvinyl: HOP ON THE HOT DOG TRAIN
jaychampionvinyl: NO HOMO
JeffreyBeaumont: I LOVE FINDING THE CHOICEST HOT DOGS ON PUTTING THEM ON
MY BODY
JeffreyBeaumont: NULLUS
JeffreyBeaumont: have you watched the new harry potter film?
jaychampionvinyl: No!
JeffreyBeaumont: let's go see it at imax

And... SCENE.

Guess I'm headed back to the dentist

2010-04-01T21:50:00.000-04:00

That is in fact a piece of my Crown.

Probably Not What Might Be Suggested

2010-03-31T19:24:00.000-04:00

Yep

2010-03-30T21:59:00.000-04:00

Good times.

Greetings from Newark

2010-03-21T23:20:00.000-04:00

These are the times when things are different and I, therefore, am not
often here.

Lots of Weird, Really

2010-03-12T12:24:00.001-05:00

DieGrosse: it's the first Puppeteer-less morning in these parts

JeffreyBeaumont: is he gone now?

DieGrosse: yeah he flew to mexico yesterday afternoon

DieGrosse: i saw him to the subway, wrote a crazy poem, ran to class, and then drank and drank and drank

DieGrosse: and danced at the home video show

JeffreyBeaumont: it was a good, weird time with him?

DieGrosse: it was good and not weird

DieGrosse: which is weird for me

JeffreyBeaumont: oh it sounded like the things you were doing were sometimes weird

DieGrosse: yes well

DieGrosse: there's that

JeffreyBeaumont: not that the interactions with him were weird

DieGrosse: ah yes

DieGrosse: yes we did weird things

DieGrosse: and didn't feel weird about it

DieGrosse: but not such weird things really

DieGrosse: just puppet related things

DieGrosse: that don't enter my life so often

DieGrosse: normal for him

DieGrosse: except that our lives are held together by magic which always causes strange coincidences

DieGrosse: which i guess is weird

JeffreyBeaumont: ah good, glad we've cleared that up

DieGrosse: are you making fun of me?

DieGrosse: anyway he's gone now

Red Hots and All-Consuming Horror and Anxiety

2010-03-09T15:25:00.001-05:00

JeffreyBeaumont: http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_wb8bAl1P-N0/S5EZQTcTM8I/AAAAAAAAM_0/XKctJIat50I/s1600-h/martha-stewart-15-feet.jpg

Anonyfriend: i dont really understand this

JeffreyBeaumont: it's a giant hot dog

JeffreyBeaumont: being held by martha stewart

Anonyfriend: yes

Anonyfriend: yes it is

...

Anonyfriend: i want a hot dog

JeffreyBeaumont: haaa, there you go

Anonyfriend: it works!

...

Anonyfriend: is it bad that i'm semi-frequently siezed with an all-consuming horror and anxiety of having lent my emotions to somebody who will ultimately destroy them?!?!?!

Dental Depraricon

2010-03-08T17:15:00.000-05:00

Yep--dental woes continue. That is silicone frozen in my beard hair
after beig fitted for a crown

Alpha Beta Omega

2010-03-05T16:57:00.001-05:00

[conversation...]
JeffreyBeaumont: so, I guess i'll just man up
jaychampionvinyl: manning up is always a good suggestion for us
bitchmade liberals arts beta males
JeffreyBeaumont: wait, am i a beta male?
jaychampionvinyl: HAHAHA
jaychampionvinyl: you are the alpha beta omega
jaychampionvinyl: you are the alpha of betas

New Haircut IV

2010-03-03T23:11:00.001-05:00

This is called the "My Body Is A Cage (Teflon Edition)" haircut.

Something Left To Be Desired

2010-03-02T23:53:00.002-05:00

Somehow Chatroulette is even less satisfying than 90s chatrooms were.

Lines In The Road

2010-03-02T18:33:00.000-05:00

Underground, forever.

Alex Is Home And He Has Been To Japan

2010-03-02T18:30:00.000-05:00

And this is, no joke, a wasabi-chocolate flavored KitKat.

The Exit Sign On My Floor Is Flickering Like I'm In A David Lynch Film

2010-03-02T15:13:00.001-05:00

This is an odd way to feel in the middle of workday on a Tuesday
afternoon in March.

C'Mon Son!

2010-02-25T18:28:00.001-05:00

JeffreyBeaumont: let's go to whole foods

they have blue velvet at the B&N nearby

Jaychampionvinyl: haha

ONE STOP SHOPPING

two dudes buying canned clams and Blue Velvet

a perfectly Lynchian shopping list

JeffreyBeaumont: dude http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EqX9NigXafI&feature=popt00us11

hahahaha

Ed Lover

a cardboard fucking sign

you have got to be kidding me

Jaychampionvinyl: HAHAHAHA

JeffreyBeaumont: he used to host a fucking show on MTV

for years

Jaychampionvinyl: “you look like Count Chocula with that widow's peak shit -- CMON SON”

Jaychampionvinyl: yeah wow, that is really is a dilapidated sad looking piece of homeless guy cardboard on which he has written CMON SON in marker

JeffreyBeaumont: go to 2:23

JeffreyBeaumont: dude

this is just insane

how does this exist

Jaychampionvinyl: hahahaha

this is actually pretty fucking HILARIOUS

I love the Juelz cameo

Juelz is at least as funny as Ed Lover

JeffreyBeaumont: hahaha

if a) this were 2:30 instead of 8:05

b) his sign were not that of an old homeless man

and c) he were not obviously sitting in his home office closet

Jaychampionvinyl: hahaha

it just keeps going

wow

"John Mayer can call you a nigga anytime, cuz you stupid"

JeffreyBeaumont: go to 6:44

Jaychampionvinyl: nOOOO

NO NO NO

did he make that?!@?!?!?! out of CARDBOARD!??!?!?!!

JeffreyBeaumont: dude

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Back_Up_Off_Me!

track 6

Jaychampionvinyl: can we leave our offices?

I am fucking done up in this piece

JeffreyBeaumont: it's the 94 ed lover and dre album

track 6

"Who's The Man"- 4:36 (Featuring the Notorious B.I.G.)

hahahah

yes, we can go

Jaychampionvinyl: CMON SON

LET'S GO BUY SOME CLAMS

Pleasant Wintry Days

2010-02-25T13:54:00.000-05:00

Old Life Revisited For The Future

2010-02-24T18:41:00.000-05:00

Reading actual books again (paper and digital, both) and enjoying it.
Duh-whoa!

This Is What I Have For You After A Month Of Hardly Being Here

2010-02-23T17:58:00.001-05:00

EK: ahhh what a shitty day

JeffreyBeaumont: i know

JeffreyBeaumont: total shittown darkness

EK: im narcoleptic

EK: i got home at 4 and had to bake a cake just to stay awake

Curious If This Is What They Thought They Meant

2010-02-21T09:19:00.001-05:00

From the Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown.

Brunchtime Funtime

2010-02-21T09:18:00.001-05:00

Moments in Upstate NY.

Sent from my iPhone

FAMILY

2010-02-16T21:12:00.000-05:00

Shelter From The Stormtroopers

2010-02-10T17:39:00.000-05:00

Playing an accordian on 6 Av and 14 St train platform, wearing a
(homemade?) Boba Fett helmet. I can dig it.

WHY THE PAIN

2010-02-08T16:49:00.002-05:00

Fun with GIFs from more subway photo research--play around with your own hand-made GIFs here.

Someone Please Explain This One To Me

2010-02-08T16:28:00.002-05:00

From a pre-race research day where Mneserate and I toured the city's subterranea looking for worthy clues for our Rail World: Underground subway race. Still don't quite get what was going on here.